1. Drive as fast as you can. The faster you get to your destination, the less time you spend on the road and the safer you'll be.
2. Make sure to slam on your brakes if you need to stop. Slamming on your brakes means that your tires will grip the road better and give you more friction to make you stop faster.
3. Follow the person in front of you closely. If they slow down, stop, or start skidding, being close to them will reduce the amount of energy transferred and reduce the damage in an accident.
4. Make sure to leave your lights off. The snow can reflect the light back at you and blind you, and the light can also heat up the snow and cause it to refreeze, turning from snow to ice.
5. Take bridges/overpasses as much as possible. Because they are elevated from the frozen ground, the ice and snow there will melt faster and thus are safer.
6. Make sure to pass any snowplows or salt trucks you come across. Driving behind a salt truck can cause your car to rust when the salt combines with the ice, and driving behind a snowplow is dangerous as it is uncovering the fresh ice on the ground.
7. Turn on your emergency lights while driving. You need to make sure that everyone on the road understands that the roads are dangerous and the best way to do that is to turn on your emergency lights. Honking repeatedly also helps.
8. Stay in the road if you have an accident. Even if it's just a minor fender bender with little or no damage, make sure not to move your vehicle to clear the road as the place where you crashed is obviously dangerous and you need to leave the vehicle there to warn others. Call the police (preferably 911, even for minor non-injury accidents) to let them know and don't move until they've inspected the site.
9. If you have a four-wheel drive vehicle, drive exactly as you normally would. Your vehicle is designed for exactly these conditions and you don't need to change your driving habits because of the ice/snow.
10. Should you get stuck, gun your engine as much as you can. The friction of your tires will melt the snow/ice and free your car. Also, you will get traction immediately upon being released and have full control of your vehicle.
11. If you happen to skid, turn the wheel violently back and forth while slamming on the brakes. Like I said before, the brakes will give you extra traction and jerking the wheel around will help you restore control faster.
12. If you have the ability, turn off your anti-lock braking system. If your brakes don't lock, you won't be able to maintain traction and will be more at risk of skids and loss of control.
13. If you actually believed any of this bullshit, stay the hell home before you fucking kill someone. Seriously, you're a danger to everyone out there and you can go one day without beer or Taco Cabana.